Its been so long since I last posted something…. Mock was last week…. I did not tell my parents I did terribly… Some thing is out of place in my life, I’m trying to find my balance here, I have to find it quick as I don’t want my results to go down the drains. So stress out :’( Who would have knew I could be so tense up with exams. I wanted to find a release, I have a way but its not the right way. I don’t want to hurt you dear just because I need to release. Maybe I could channel the stress into something positive. There are so many thing adding to my stress, one of it is me gaining weight. I try so many ways to loss it but again it comes back to haunt me. What does a girl need to do to stay thin??? argh!!!!
I tried pills, exercising, cutting down on food but nothing seems to work. But first things first, I notice I have been trying to keep everything perfect this past 2 years. I’m turning to some perfectionist, control freak that I myself don’t even recognize. Why am I making things more stress and complicated for myself? I know its having a negative effect on me but why can’t I change? It is because if I’m not perfect I am afraid of what people might think? Or am I just afraid of what I think of myself? So much dilemma…. I sound insane, but hopefully that is not the case. I will find my way, I will catch my flow again. I will…. I must….
Happy always.
