September 2009 Archive

I know this holiday has nothing to do with me but its still the holidays right? I’m back home in my hometown since last night and I’m going to Fraser Hills with my family tomorrow and after that to KL. Its been really tiring for me as I haven’t get enough rest since 3 weeks ago. First it was PT then now the holidays. I know holidays means resting more but if I’m going holidays with my family its the exact opposite. Its still nice going places with them but since I’m the eldest I have to take care of so many people. There’s the driving part which is the most tiring part and taking care of my grandma so that my dad doesn’t get mad is just too much stress for me to handle. If only my dad can be in the good mood when he is with us then things will be so much happier and better. It hurts so much when he speaks in that bad mood tone and when he gets mad.

Sometimes I really want to avoid all this and just stay at home. But I know they are trying hard to fix things so who am I to spoilt it. I feel like a hypocrite sometimes. I don’t know what I should do so that everybody gets what they want and be happy. Until then I will still be stressing and worried about home. That’s why sometimes I rather go somewhere with him as I don’t need to be taking care about anyone while I’m being taken care of by him. I can be as childish as I want; can say whatever I want without worries; I guess I felt more free being with him and more ‘myself’. But all said I know my responsibility and I will never abandon my family. No matter how hurtful things are I will still stick around for them. You can ‘stop’ being a big sis right? I’m still very glad I’m part of this family, it is who I’m. If not for my family I won’t be the person I’m today.

Talking about family, his sis is getting engaged! So happy for them, congratulations!

Happy always.